Friday, December 29, 2017
To stay married, we need to embrace change...
In order to stay married, we need to embrace change. This is an awesome quote from some long term married couples - “I’ve had at least three marriages. They’ve just all been with the same person.”
Check out this blog:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/to-stay-married-embrace-change/
Thursday, December 21, 2017
What do you dream of for 2018?
Every year at this time we take stock of our lives, our families, our accomplishments and our failures. Maybe it's time for a new dream?
Check out this blog on this couple, who left it all to fulfill a lifelong dream of travel. What do you dream for in 2018?
https://www.beckercounseling.com/what-is-your-dream-for_2018/
Monday, December 11, 2017
Can someone with narcissism change?
Do you know what narcissism is? Can someone with narcissism change?
Check out this blog article to see if you know someone who is a narcissist.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/narcissism/
Friday, December 8, 2017
Stop Overindulging Your Children
Stop overindulging your children. Is it your job to make them happy or "capable"?
Check out this blog:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/stop-overindulging-children/
Monday, December 4, 2017
So you have Stress or Anxiety? They are different.
Stress and Anxiety are related, but different.
If you are suffering, contact Becker Counseling - we can help.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/monmouth-ocean-nj/counseling-therapy-services-couples-family-counseling-services-marriage-counseling-individual-therapy/stress-anxiety/
Friday, December 1, 2017
What makes a couple stay married a long time?
How do you stay in love after so many years? Is there a secret? This is what several couples who were married a long time felt helped them through the years.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/how-couples-stay-in-love-after-many-years/
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Have you shared your Netflix password yet? What does it mean?
Check out this blog to see if you think the couch and movie are the key to a happy couple!
https://www.beckercounseling.com/netflix-key-happier-relationship/
Monday, November 27, 2017
Should you stay friends with your ex after a breakup?
And why would you stay friends with your ex?
Check out this article to see if you should stay friends with your ex and why?
https://www.beckercounseling.com/should-you-stay-friends-with-your-ex/
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Do you hate the holidays?
It's November and the day before Thanksgiving. Some people are so excited, but all you can think is that you hate the holidays. It's not that uncommon. Check out this blog about the holidays, stress and depression.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/do-you-hate-the-holidays/
Can you listen without getting defensive?
Can you truly listen without getting defensive? Check out these tips for calming yourself and self soothing while you are listening to your spouse.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/how-to-listen-without-getting-defensive/
Friday, November 17, 2017
What to do BEFORE you get engaged - recommendations from a marriage counselor
Are you thinking of popping the question?
Do you hope he asks you to marry him this holiday season?
Here are 7 things you should consider before getting engaged.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/7-things-you-and-your-partner-must-do-before-getting-engaged/
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Could you leave your family if it meant saving them?
Read this story of a mom of three small children, who left her family. She felt she needed to leave in order to save them all from unhappiness.
As a marriage counselor, I see those families who try to stay together for the sake of the children, but sometimes it may do more damage than good. Check this poignant story out:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/i-left-my-family/
Labels:
Children and divorce,
divorce,
Marriage Counseling
Friday, November 10, 2017
18 Last Minute Ideas for Date Night that Won't Break the Bank
No ideas on what to do with your spouse this weekend? Check out this article on some last minute date night ideas that won't break the bank:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/18-last-minute-date-ideas-from-becker-counseling-marriage-counselor/
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
Pastor John Gray discusses the top three mistakes young married couples make
Pastor John Gray, associate pastor of the Houston Lakewood Church under Joel Osteen, has three tips for the three mistakes that young married couples make.
Check out this blog:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/three-mistakes-that-can-tear-young-couples-apart-pastor-john-gray-discusses-marriage-mistakes/
Friday, November 3, 2017
What does Debra Winger, the actress, have to say about marriage?
Check out what Debra Winger has to say about how to keep a marriage interesting - for the long haul!
https://www.beckercounseling.com/how-do-you-keep-a-marriage-interesting-see-what-debra-winger-says-about-marriage/
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
Are you addicted to your tech? Is the addiction real?
Can't put your phone down? Need to check your texts, emails, messages constantly? Is it interfering with your regular life? Check out this article on tech addiction:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/is-internet-addiction-real/
Sunday, October 29, 2017
How do we stop "hovering" over our adult children?
Check out this blog and tips from Dena Kouremetis - a veteran journalist, author and freelance writer from Psychology today regarding parenting tips.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/stop-the-hovering/
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
Becker Counseling - serving Monmouth and Ocean County, New Jersey
I am very proud to serve my clients in Monmouth and Ocean County, New Jersey.
If you are stressed or anxious, having relationship issues or suffering from grief, check us out:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/
Labels:
#itsoktotalk,
Becker Counseling,
Marriage Counseling,
therapy
Friday, October 20, 2017
What is the best time for you to eat?
What time do you eat?
How many meals a day do you eat?
Check out this article from Men's Health on the optimal time to eat.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/heres-the-eating-schedule-you-should-follow/
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
After an Affair
Have you been cheated on?
Were you the one who cheated?
Can your marriage survive an affair?
https://www.beckercounseling.com/after-an-affair/
Labels:
affair,
Becker Counseling,
cheating,
family therapy,
Marriage Counseling
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
What does depression in men look like?
They are not weak. They are depression. What does depression in men look like?
Check out this blog, and the depression screening test to see.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/what-does-depression-look-like-in-men/
Labels:
Becker Counseling,
Depression,
depression in men
Friday, October 13, 2017
What happens to men when they divorce?
Is it the same for women and men when they divorce? This article's research says no.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/how-do-men-really-cope-after-divorce/
Thursday, October 5, 2017
Is "Brain Hacking" happening to you?
Check out what several tech gurus say is happening - it's called "Brain Hacking".
https://www.beckercounseling.com/brain-hacking-is-it-happening-to-you/
Does Facebook actually give you cravings?
Facebook and other social media sites are fast becoming the addiction of the day.
Check out this blog about how the mere Facebook logo leaves some so addicted...
https://www.beckercounseling.com/mere-sight-of-facebook-could-leave-users-craving-online-time/
Friday, September 29, 2017
This light phone could end your smart phone addiction!
Never put your phone down? Too connected - maybe it's time to disconnect but keep your phone...
https://www.beckercounseling.com/the-light-phone-a-simple-way-to-disconnect/
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Love at any age!
This couple shows that love can happen at any age. He was a widower, she was divorced. And now together - happily ever after !
https://www.beckercounseling.com/this-couple-reminds-us-that-you-cant-put-an-age-limit-on-love/
Saturday, September 23, 2017
Did you tell your kids "Go Outside" today?
Why his dad never felt bad about saying "go outside"!
https://www.beckercounseling.com/why-we-should-tell-our-kids-to-go-outside-parenting-issues/
Labels:
Becker Counseling,
Divorce Issues,
Parenting Issues
Monday, September 18, 2017
Some Back to School Tips for Divorcing Parents
Can you put your differences aside - as your child transitions to a new family normal and a new school year? Check out this blog:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/back-to-school-tips-for-divorcing-parents/
Friday, September 15, 2017
Will Your Marriage Be Ok When the Kids Are Gone?
Students go back to college this month and you may find yourself as an “empty nester”. Or there will suddenly be fewer people in the house. How will you deal with this change? Have you thought about the implications for change in your life? Do you have a plan for having more free time? Not only are you “losing” your kids, but you and your partner must adjust to a changed relationship with fewer people (or no kids at all) in the house. The remaining kids in the house also will have a new family dynamic to embrace.
Check out my blog about it:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/will-your-marriage-be-ok-when-the-kids-are-gone/
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
PTSD - IT'S NO LAUGHING MATTER! Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
PTSD is no laughing matter. Contact Becker Counseling for treatment options.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/why-ptsd-is-no-joking-matter/
Friday, September 1, 2017
How much power does your phone have over you? Are you addicted to your tech?
Check out this blog about how much power your phone can have over you and your family. Amazing quote - the one thing kids can't live without is "their phones".
https://www.beckercounseling.com/how-does-a-phone-have-so-much-power-over-someone-internet-addiction/
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
So who is more addicted to their tech - you or your kids?
Many people are concerned with children’s use of technology, but what about parents? There are many couples that come to therapy who do not realize their time on the internet and on their phones is affecting their time with their families. BBC News posted an article about parents overusing their phones and how much their kids notice it.
What do you think – are you as addicted to your tech as your kids are to theirs?
https://www.beckercounseling.com/can-a-parents-mobile-use-harm-their-family-life/
Labels:
Becker Counseling,
Children and tech,
Tech addiction
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Loss and College - How will you cope when the kids go to college?
Are your kids going to college now or in the next few weeks? This is the time of year when families take their children to distant schools and drop them off for nine months. It can be very hard on you, the parent, as well as the student. You may be putting on a brave face, but in reality, the presence of loss is real and powerful at this transitional time in your life. You may not equate this with other losses, such as death or relationship breakups, but some of the dynamics of grief are the same.
Check out my blog about this very real loss:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/loss-and-college/
Labels:
Becker Counseling,
College,
Depression,
Grief,
Loss,
relationship changes
Friday, August 18, 2017
Digital Detox - for Tech Addiction and Internet Addiction
Are you addicted to that blue screen?
Is your child always on his or her device?
Check out some tips from Goop lifestyle website, on how to do a Digital Detox.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/a-digital-detox-for-tech-addiction-internet-addiction-at-every-age/
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Are you addicted to the internet?
Are you ever concerned that you or someone you know is addicted to the internet?
Many people are online every single day, but how much time online is too much?
Internet addiction is a growing problem that people are facing as technology continues to develop and online access is made easier. If you think this may be the case, read this article from American Psychiatric Association about internet addiction.
Becker Counseling provides counseling services for Internet Addiction - call us if you want to talk at 732.406.4402.
Monday, August 7, 2017
Can marriage counseling help your marriage survive infidelity?
"Should I stay or should I go?"
In my many years as a Marriage Counselor, I have seen numerous couples come to me for therapy after an infidelity has been discovered.
Counseling can help you sort out if your marriage can survive or not. Sometimes your marriage may even be stronger afterwards.
Check out this blog to see if Becker Counseling can help your marriage survive infidelity?
Labels:
Becker Counseling,
Infidelity,
Marriage Counseling
Friday, August 4, 2017
It's the weekend, time to unplug...
Unplugged may be the cure to your tech addiction.
Internet addiction has been a growing problem over the last decade. As a family therapist, people constantly ask me how to get their families to put their phones down and enjoy quality time together.
To get a few suggestions, take a look at this article from Paste to see how you can get time away from your phone.
And maybe connect a little more.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Addiction Treatment in America - What Do You Think?
Check out this link:
Addiction is a huge problem in America. In 2015 alone – 52,000 people died from an overdose including 33,000 on OxyContin, heroin, and other opioids. Almost three times that number died of causes related to the most-used mood-altering addictive drug, alcohol.
What needs to be done to make a change in this statistic? Read this article from Psychology Today to find out more about the addiction problem in our country.
Monday, July 31, 2017
#itsoktotalk - Using Social Media to Battle Depression on Instagram
There is often stigma when it comes to talking about mental health. I have seen many people keep their mental health problems a secret because of the stigma behind it. Instagram wants to change that on its social media site.
Check out this article from Men’s Health to see how.
Here are just some hashtags you can use:
#ItsOkayToTalk
#HereForYou
Friday, July 28, 2017
Continuing Education Continues at Rutgers School of Social Work
After completing the first course, I went beyond the basics of Schema Therapy. On Friday, July 11th, I once again went to Rutgers School of Social Work to continue my education on this therapy. The course went more in depth on this technique which will help clients who are in need of help with their lifelong self-defeating patterns of functioning.
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Is technology helping you or hurting you? Is it stressing you out?
As a counselor, I work with many people who are dealing with a lot of stress. More and more, technology is becoming a reason for increased stress in people's everyday lives. Stress from technology is also worldwide. Read this article from Strategic Psychology (a counseling service in Australia) about the stress of modern day technology and some tips to lesson your stress levels.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/is-technology-causing-you-more-stress/
Friday, July 21, 2017
Males and Their Emotions - How Does Society Influence Them?
There are many stereotypes for men and their emotions. As a male counselor, I see some clients hold onto these stereotypes and live by them. There are so many historical viewpoints to consider in dealing with human emotions. Take a look at this New York Times articlehttps://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/10/education/edlife/teaching-men-to-be-emotionally-honest.html?_r=0 about men and their emotions - and "how boys are taught, sometimes with the best of intentions, to mutate their emotional suffering into anger."
What do you think?
https://www.beckercounseling.com/males-and-emotions-how-much-does-society-influence-it/
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
Should I stay or should I go?
Are you going to stay together or split? Sometimes its the most difficult decision ever. Contact Becker Counseling if you are trying to decide, and need someone to listen.
https://www.beckercounseling.com/should-you-stay-together-or-divorce/
Monday, July 17, 2017
Schema Therapy Basics - new techniques for couseling
On Friday, July 14th, I attended an educational course at Rutgers School of Social Work to learn more about schema therapy basics. This course covered an innovative psychotherapy approach which integrates cognitive therapy, behavior therapy, object relations and gestalt therapy. This approach was created to work with clients who have chronic depression, personality disorders and other individual and couples problems.
I am dedicated to ongoing education to make sure I can provide the best care for my clients.
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Do you think alcohol is a problem in your marriage or family?
You and Drinking
Do you think alcohol is a problem in your marriage or family? Has it caused legal, health or money problems? Are you living with an alcoholic or are you the one with the problem?
You are definitely not alone. Recently actor Ben Affleck announced publicly he had completed rebab treatment for his long time drinking problem. Also, celebrities Bradley Cooper, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Anthony Hopkins, Elton John, Steven Tyler, Eminem and Stephen King have publicly shared their battle with alcohol. Some have relapsed but all are honest about the damage done to their lives, families and careers.
Drinking is a common factor in many clients I see for counseling. Interestingly, most people come in to see me complaining mainly of other problems. Drinking is not usually mentioned until I ask about it. Then it is disclosed, but often minimized or dismissed. I believe many people are in denial of the effects of drinking on their personal lives. But it must be addressed and made a priority.
Communication issues are frequently mentioned along with alcohol. Texting inappropriate messages while drunk is a common occurrence and unfortunately these texts can’t be “unsent”; someone ends up being hurt. Someone may be arrested or get a DUI. Drinking too much may cause friends to become alienated. Family members are afraid to bring it up. Couples find it very hard to talk about, so they deal with it in silence.
Other negative impacts on relationships include becoming socially withdrawn, abnormal behavior, anger and violent outbursts, sexual problems or health issues. Drinking can be an expensive and time wasting habit. Sex lives suffer in many cases. Health can become a major problem over time and alcoholism often times progressively becomes a debilitating and devastating disease.
The hardest part for the drinker or the one living with the drinker is a feeling of helplessness. Maybe you can’t control your own or someone else’s drinking, which in turn exacerbates the feelings of loneliness and isolation. The first step is getting help and not feeling ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help.
No one can get better until they personally decide to do it themselves; you can’t force someone to get help, but you can start by communicating with them and expressing your concerns. Sometimes when a drinker hits “rock bottom”, they have an epiphany and realize that they are hurting themselves and everyone around them. It is important that everyone involved has hope and knows there is always a way to recovery.
If you or someone close to you needs help, please call us today and let us help find a way to get healthy, sober and live a fuller life. Contact us or call us today at 732.406.4422
Labels:
Alcohol,
Alcohol Abuse,
Becker Counseling,
Drinking
Monday, July 10, 2017
When Anger Wins, Love Loses
I found this article on MarriageBuilders.com and thought about anger, and how destructive it can be.
Check out this artilce on some interesting thoughts about how anger can affect your marriage.
"Remember, in marriage you can be your spouse's greatest source of pleasure, but you can also be your spouse's greatest source of pain, particularly if you use the controlling and abusive strategies of demands, disrespect and anger to try to get what you need in marriage. If you use them, you are almost sure to lose your spouse's love for you."
https://www.beckercounseling.com/becker-counseling-when-anger-wins-love-loses-angry-couple/
Labels:
anger wins,
angry couple,
Becker Counseling,
love loses
Friday, July 7, 2017
Question for the day - Can a porn addiction cost you your marriage?
"My Husband's Porn Addiction Destroyed Our Marriage.
When I found out about his secret life, at first I blamed myself."
When I found out about his secret life, at first I blamed myself."
This story originally appeared in the July 2002 issue of Good Housekeeping. Names have been changed. But technology and porn are on the rise.
Read on to see how this husband's porn addiction cost him his marriage.
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
There are serious mental costs of watching porn.
Do you or someone you care about have a serious porn addiction?
This article on "Fight the New Drug" was guest written by Dan Gray (LCSW, CSAT), the Clinical Director and co-founder at Lifestar Therapy. He has a master’s degree in social work and is a CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist). He is also certified as an addictions counselor with the National Association of Forensic Counselors.
"Why You Feel Anxious And Depressed After Watching Porn" highlights how "pornography is addictive, which in the long run rewires the brain, kills relationships, and can lead to abusive relationships against women and men."
Has technology just made this addiction too easy?
Monday, July 3, 2017
Red State, Blue State: 10 Tips for Feuding Families
With this being a holiday weekend, maybe you are around your family more often? But, is your family feuding? Here are 10 tips from www.Health.com:
- Avoiding family fights
- It’s normal to disagree
- Don’t drink too much
- Recognize your triggers
- Take a time-out
- Control your reaction
- Avoid labels
- Agree to disagree
- Be open
- Just don’t go there
And in the end – Remember why you are there!
Friday, June 30, 2017
Depression in Men - is it really different? Do we really understand it?
“Depression is an illness that affects both men and women. But people working in mental health services see far fewer men with depression. It seems likely men suffer from depression just as often as women, but they are less likely to ask for help.”
This article by Natasha Tracy has some interesting points. Check out this link to read it:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/depression-in-men-do-we-really-understand-it/
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