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Saturday, December 22, 2018

Josh Gordon, New England Patriot wide receiver steps down for his mental health




We applaud Josh Gordon of the New England Patariots for his  recent actions.  He is stepping down in order to address his mental health issues.  This will allow him to work on himself and then come back at 110%. 

Best of luck to Josh! and all the others who fight for their mental health.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/new-england-patriots-josh-gordon-steps-down/

Friday, December 21, 2018

Dating - and the sometimes weird questions women are asked when they are on a date.



Dating is supposed to be fun and romantic - right?

Sometimes it is, sometimes you have to find the humor.  Check out this article from Men's Health regarding some of the most interesting questions women have been asked when on a date.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/women-reveal-the-best-questions-on-a-date/ 

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

The Invisible Poison That Could Kill Your Family - Carbon Monoxide



Keep your family safe this winter from this all-too-common tragedy.  According to Dr. Eric Lavonas, M.D., chief of emergency medicine at Denver Health "More Americans die from carbon monoxide (CO) poisoning in the winter months than during any other time of year, suggests a study published in the American Journal of Emergency Medicine. About 45,000 Americans are treated for CO poisoning each year, and about 1,600 die."

So check out these tips from Men's Health and protect your family - so you can enjoy the holidays.

1. Install Carbon Monoxide Detectors
2. Never Operate Engines Indoors
3. Schedule Annual Inspections
4. Be Careful In the Garage


Tuesday, December 4, 2018

16 Cool Gifts for Your Boyfriend He May Actually Like



It's time to shop for that special man in your life.  But sometimes shopping for the male in your life, be it your boyfriend or husband, can be very difficult.

Hats off to Huffington Post for coming up with this awesome list of 16 gifts he may actually like! 

With only a few days left to the holiday shopping season, you may want to check it out!


https://www.beckercounseling.com/16-cool-gifts-boyfriend-hell-actually-like/

Friday, November 30, 2018

Depression can affect anyone… including Janet Jackson.



Depression - it knows no boundaries.

Depression - it can affect anyone, even the rich and famous celebrities.  Janet Jackson has been very open about her depression and how it has affected her life.

When celebrities like Janet Jackson open up and speak about their struggles with depression, it makes it easier for the rest of us to realize that mental illness, anxiety and dpression can hit anyone.

Monday, November 26, 2018

Do you hate the holidays?



Do you? Don't worry, it's OK if you hate the holidays. Many people do.

Family issues, holiday stress with your spouse, money issues... these are all real during the holidays.

Just remember to breathe and figure out a way to deal with them that works for you.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/hate-holidays-ok/

Friday, November 9, 2018

Cheating May Not Be A Death Sentence, And Why It May Happen Again


Is monogamy the source of cheating? Is it just unreasonable to expect that your spouse will not cheat?  Does it mean that your relationship is over? Will it happen again?
It does not have to.  But there are several items that you may need to look at, if you have been cheated on – or if you are the cheater.
This article from the Huffington Post lists some items to consider about cheating:
1) Cheating is not a death sentence for a relationship.
2) Cheating is lying.
3) Cheating is the easy way out.
4) The cheater needs to be the healer.
5) The cheater may cheat again.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

30 Romantic Date Night Ideas for Married Couples


This is a great list! I mean a great list.

This list from www.developgoodhabits.com is awesome.

You're married now... maybe for a short time, but maybe for 30 or 50 years.  Just like trying to figure out what to make for dinner gets old, so does "dating" your husband or wife.  But marriage does take work.

Running your kids to practice and games and piano lessons, doctors appointments, getting the roof repaired...this all takes time, patience and preparation.  Shouldn't your marriage qualify for that kind of attention too?

As the author of this excellent list states "Dates are like reset buttons in a marriage, and can often make all right in the world again with the simplest of gestures." So get out there and date that person you would marry all over again!

Romantic Date Night Ideas for Married Couples
1. Dinner at a restaurant that requires reservations weeks, or more, in advance.
2. A horse-drawn carriage ride.
3. Go to a drive-in movie.
4. Schedule a private tasting at a local vineyard.
5. Go to the opera.
6. Take a walk through a botanical garden.
7. Try out a self-defense or martial arts class.
8. Catch a live sporting event.
9. Try white water rafting or kayaking.
10. Go sculpt or paint something.
11. Visit a museum.
12. Have a picnic on the beach.
13. Find a curbside joint to grab lunch at.
14. Go camping.
15. Create a scavenger hunt.
16. Check out an amateur comedy club.
17. Take your spouse on a tour of your alma mater.
18. Enter a fun race together.
19. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or nursing home.
20. Take a cooking class.
21. Cook your spouse a candlelight dinner.
22. Schedule an in-home couples massage.
23. Set up a photo shoot.
24. Hire a personal sommelier.
25. Order takeout from your favorite restaurant.
26. Watch your wedding video.
27. Turn each other into a work of art.
28. Roleplay.
29. Dance to your old records.
30. Skype with each other from different rooms in the house.

At the end of the day, marriage is a garden that needs constant tending too!

Monday, November 5, 2018

Wonderful Things About the Empty Nest


Your children are either now away at school, have moved out on their own, gotten married… but they have left the house.
How will you get through being an empty nester?  It’s too quiet, it’s too clean.
Well, maybe you can now see all the good things and peaceful things that can come from being an empty nester.
This article in “Very Well Mind” lists some of the nicest aspects of being an empty nester. So sit back, relax (now that you can) and enjoy this ride.

Monday, October 29, 2018

The 15-minute Workout to Replace your Afternoon Coffee!



It's Monday.  You are dragging from the weekend, and somehow you have to get through the workday.

Here is a 15-minute workout that just might help.  And you can do it right at your desk!

https://www.beckercounseling.com/15-minute-workout-replace-afternoon-coffee/

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Empty Nest - A blessing or a plague?



When our kids leave for college, the house is so quiet.  Is this time to ourselves really a blessing or a plague.

Check out what happened to this author when her child left for college:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/plague-blessing-empty-nest/

Sunday, October 21, 2018

10 Gifts No Woman Wants from her Boyfriend



The holidays are right around the corner.

Have you thought about what you are getting your girlfriend? Well if not, just make sure you don't get her something she really does NOT WANT.

Check out this list from Esquire of 10 gifts that NO woman wants from her boyfriend.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/10-gifts-no-woman-wants-get-boyfriend/

Friday, October 19, 2018

It Takes Courage to Walk Away



You want your marriage to last a lifetime.  But sometimes it is just not working the way you would like.

Once you realize it is just time to walk away, do it.  If you can't fix a broken marriage, then fix the rest of your life.  Circle the date on that calendar.  After all, you can't get to a new tomorrow if you are stuck in yesterday.  It takes courage, but sometimes it is just time to walk away.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/takes-courage-walk-away_fix-a-broken-marriage/

Monday, October 8, 2018

Is Binge Watching "Game of Thrones" the Secret to a Happy Relationship?



Admit it.  We all do it.

Once in awhile you just binge watch your favorite shows.  Whether it's on Netflix, TV or a marathon movie run.  Could consuming media TOGETHER be the secret to a happy relationship?

Men's Health says yes. https://www.beckercounseling.com/secret-keeping-relationship-alive-binge-watching-game-thrones/

Friday, October 5, 2018

15 Important Reads for Anyone Trying to Get Over a Breakup




Are you going through a bad breakup? Thought you'd be together forever and now you have to find a way to go on?

Huffington Post recently put together a list of 15 articles that are fantastic reads for anyone going through a bad relationship breakup. 

Think it's all over - trust us - it gets better!

https://www.beckercounseling.com/important-reads-for-getting-over-a-breakup/

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

New Rules for Dating



Advancements in technology have changed everything, including how we date.  Men's Health says there are new rules for dating. 

What do you think?

https://www.beckercounseling.com/the-new-rules-on-dating/

Friday, September 28, 2018

Hard to say you're sorry? How do your apologies hold up?



It is hard to say you are sorry.  It is so hard to apologize, especially to the ones we are in a relationship with.

Psychology Today published an article with 7 steps to help make your apology more forgivable.  Seems these steps make some great relationship sense to help anyone apologize.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/ways-to-truly-say-youre-sorry/ 

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Do you lose yourself in a romantic relationship?



If you are in a committed, long term romantic relationship - are you now one entity? Can you actually be two whole and complete beings, but part of a bigger whole?

Check out what some of the experts and research have to say about "loss of self in a romantic relationship".

https://www.beckercounseling.com/do-romantic-relationships-and-marriges-imply-a-loss-of-self/

Friday, September 14, 2018

COUPLE MARRIES WHERE THEY MET - AT PLANET FITNESS!



Does your wedding have a  unique story? Was your wedding at a special but unconventional place? How did your friends and family react when you said you were having your wedding at...
Planet Fitness?

Check out this couple's special wedding location- Planet Fitness!

https://www.beckercounseling.com/yes-fit-couple-really-tied-knot-planet-fitness/

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Stonewalling - this could be an indicator your relationship won't last.



Do you do this? Give your partner the #silenttreatment? Do you #stonewall them? Are you able to talk and #communicate?

If you stonewall your partner, not only is it annoying, but it could be an indicator that your relationship won't last.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/stonewalling-marital-behavior-not-annoying-sign-might-divorce/

Monday, September 10, 2018

The 8 Best Fall Date Ideas That Aren't Apple Picking




Summer is over.  The weather is changing.  A little planning can go a long way.  Check out some fun Fall date tips from Esquire magazine about some awesome things to do this Fall:


  • Visit a haunted house.
  • Hit the batting cages.
  • Make a meal together.
  • Take a scenic train ride.
  • Catch a planetarium show.
  • Walk a dog.
  • Bet on a football game.
  • Take a brewery tour.


Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Should your spouse be your best friend?



Do you think your spouse should be your best friend?

The research and the answers to that are mixed. 

Check out this article on if your spouse should be your best friend.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/spouse-best-friend/

Saturday, August 25, 2018

College Goodbyes




It's fall and that time of year for kids to go off to college.
Are you happy about your new found freedom, or will you be sad at the thought of a quiet house?

Depression and grief are normal reactions at this kind of a family dynamic change. 

Check out this blog from Bob Becker on College Goodbyes:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/college-goodbyes/

Friday, August 17, 2018

5 Hard Questions to Ask BEFORE you move in together



Check out these hard questions to ask before you move in together:
https://www.beckercounseling.com/5-hard-questions-ask-moving-partner/

1. Are you just trying to save money on rent?
2. Are you feeling pressured?
3. Can you see yourself in your relationship long-term?
4. Do you feel comfortable talking about division of labor?
5. Would you feel more at ease taking a smaller step?

Thursday, August 16, 2018

10 Things That Make it More Likely You Will Get Divorced



What do you think?

Do these 10 items really make it more likely for you to get divorced? 

1. Your parents got divorced
2. Your alcohol habits don’t match your spouse’s
3. You got married young
4. You’re hot
5. You shelled out big bucks for your wedding
6. You didn’t waste any time getting pregnant
7. Your first kid is a daughter
8. You didn’t finish college
9. You were raised without religion
10.You’ve been divorced before


The Huffington Post article and referenced research says yes.  But does the past always repeat in the future? Let's hope not when it comes to marriage.


Wednesday, August 8, 2018

What happens when the Nanny leaves? How do you support your child?



Change is hard for everyone, but especially for children at this time of  year.  If they have a Nanny, they have probably become attached.  Is the Nanny leaving to go back to school herself? Maybe she is from another country? Is she too close to your kids?

What happens when the Nanny leaves? How do you parent and support them, but keep the Nanny at an appropriate distance from your child, but wanting the Nanny to take care of your child as you would?

https://www.beckercounseling.com/nanny-leaves-support-child/

Friday, August 3, 2018

Will a spouse who cheats, cheat again?



Kevin Hart cheated on his first wife. Now he has cheated on his second wife.  Will a spouse who cheats once, cheat again?

Is infidelity an automatic outcome?  See what Kevin Hart had to say about it:

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Can exes be friends?



What do you think?

Can exes really be friends? But the bigger question is - should exes stay friends?

https://www.beckercounseling.com/can-exes-really-friends/

Friday, July 27, 2018

The Anniversary Malady



Sometimes it hits you full force, sometimes it creeps up on you.  But the anniversary is there, looming.

The smells, the sounds, the sights and then the dates. 

Check out this article on "The Anniversary Malady" to see how one widow deals with her grief and the anniversaries of simple days and holidays before her husband passed.


Wednesday, July 25, 2018

7 WAYS TO MAKE A WOMAN LAUGH





In this article in Muscle & Fitness, a stand-up comedian talks about making a woman laugh on a date.

Here are 7 secrets to being funny in the dating world.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

How Are Your Devices Hurting Your Relationships?

This topic comes up over and over with clients and I have heard many stories about phones, computers and tablets leading to affairs or other relationship problems. Maybe your significant other has possibly treated you badly online. Or vice versa. You may have been hurt publicly by an acquaintance in the online world. There are so many ways to use the internet to send or receive harmful content.  Has it hurt you in some way?

You may not realize it but you could have a serious issue with the electronics in your life. Your devices may be controlling you or your life to some degree, regarding the amount of time you spend using it or the purpose you use it for. You may feel unable to put your device down or even use it a bit less.



But the real problem is the content you read or post. Maybe you have seen an uncomfortable message online about you by someone you care about. Or perhaps you have written something yourself that you regret. Possibly, a text or photo has caused you or someone else great pain. Regret is difficult to accept for most of us.

Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram posts are the main forums that are misused, but there are many ways of putting damaging, cruel, accusatory, inappropriate, or disloyal messages out there. Which has hurt you? Photos and video also can cause great harm. Think of a party you were not invited to but saw online. Or a revenge post someone put up. These can cause long lasting harm.

Most harmful in a therapeutic sense are the messages that disclose or lead to cheating/infidelity. This is one of the most difficult relationship dynamics to overcome in therapy. And devices almost always play a part. Facebook abuse alone is responsible for many cheating incidents as reported by the clients that have come in. Often it starts with searching for a relationship you had long ago. This turns into online flirting and so on.

Being stalked online can also be a dangerous problem and can be a sign of a larger threat. Online porn can intrude on healthy relationships or become an addiction.

So, be careful with your device. If it’s already a problem, therapy will help. Call Becker Counseling for an appointment and let’s discuss healthy ways to address how devices and technology are affecting your life and relationships. Call or Text 732.406.4422

Monday, July 23, 2018

THE BEST WAY TO BREAK UP? JUST RIP OFF THE BAND-AID.



Is there really a "best way" to break up?

Do you go slow and steady or just "rip off the band-aid"?

New research shows it might be better just to do it.


#breakup #band-aid #relationships


https://www.beckercounseling.com/the-best-way-to-break-up-just-rip-off-the-band-aid/

What are your core values?



Are your core values at the center of your relationship? Does what  you believe in drive your daily interactions with your spouse / partner? Or is it just passion?

What will last?

#corevalues #relationshiptips #relationship

https://www.beckercounseling.com/forget-common-interests-successful-relationships-need-something/

Friday, July 6, 2018

How Marriage May Break Your Heart … Or Keep It Healthy


Check out this article from Time Magazine, regarding marriage and your heart health.
“People’s heart health, many studies have concluded, is very connected to the health of their relationships.
But a new study suggests that the relationship between long term relationships and cardiac health may be more complex than it looks. It may not be the marriage that’s making people healthy, it may be that the character traits that are damaging their health are also keeping them from being married.” states BELINDA LUSCOMBE, author for Time.
In my experience as a marriage counselor, this does seem to be the case that happy marriages lead to healthier people. Contact Becker to see if we can help you get happy and healthy!

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

7 Glaring Signs it is Time to Break Up with That Toxic Friend



Do you have that one friend that might be toxic? If you dread making plans or seeing them then maybe it is time for a "friendship breakup". 

Check out this article for 7 glaring signs that it might be time to break up that friendship. But remember to do it with dignity, you never know what the future holds. You may want to friend them again someday.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/time-break-toxic-friend/

Thursday, June 28, 2018

5 Marriage Proposals That Went Horribly Wrong!



Proposing to someone can be nerve wracking, but hopefully the result is a happy marriage.  But sometimes it just does not go that way.

Check out these marriage proposals that went horribly wrong.  Sorry guys.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/5-marriage-proposals-went-horribly-wrong/

Monday, June 25, 2018

Relationship Advice You May Hear, but You Should Never Listen To



There is allot of relationship advice out there.  Check out this article from Maxim's on 5 pieces of relationship advice you may hear, but should not listen to.

Whether you are dating, living together or married - relationship advice should be taken with a grain of salt.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/maxims-report-5-pieces-relationship-advice-hear-often-never-listen/

Friday, June 22, 2018

How to Answer Those Uncomfortable Questions from Your Kids



It’s the weekend and you may be spending some more time with your young children than during the week.  Their questions are sometimes amazing and sometimes never ending!
, an author for Men’s Health says “Being a dad means being the answer man.”
In this recent article, He’s provided some great, quick responses that should satisfy your kid’s curiosity – such as “What does God look like?” and “Who put that baby in Mom’s belly?”
You can also use some of these techniques in your other personal relationships, like when someone asks you a difficult question, pause for a moment and ask them “Well what do you think?”

https://www.beckercounseling.com/answer-kids-difficult-questions-god-broccoli-put-baby-moms-belly/

Thursday, June 21, 2018

10 Things Children can Teach Their Fathers (and Mothers)



Are you overstressed?

Remember when you could just run, and not worry about how far or how fast?

Do you think a fart joke is still funny? 

Maybe the kids have it right - here are 10 things children can teach their dads.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/10-things-children-teach-fathers/

Monday, June 18, 2018

Reverance for our Parents



Do you hold your parents in reverance? Does how you feel about your parents and how you treat your parents, affect your other relationships?

What we learn from our parents can help us manage our adult relationships and bring empathy and patience to our lives.

Check out this article about holding our "Parents in Reverance":
https://www.beckercounseling.com/reverance-parents-parents-teach-us-relationships/

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Men Need Counseling Too!



As Father's Day approaches, do we wonder if our dads or spouses are happy? Are they depressed or anxious?

Sometimes men need counseling too, but are not likely to seek it out.  Think about helping your father, brother, husband find the counseling they need.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/men-need-counseling-too/


Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Overcoming Divorce - One Marriage at a Time Conference



I recently attended this workshop put on by the NJAMFT.  

Presented by Eric Kispert, LCSW, LCADC there were awesome learning objectives for all the counselors. 

In this culture of divorce, we need to be able to counsel and support our clients as much as possible.


https://www.beckercounseling.com/overcoming-divorce-conference-njamft/

Monday, June 4, 2018

Is your health better when you are married? It is if you are a man!



Do you think staying married can have an impact on your health?

It can, especially if you are a man. Check out this research in Men's Health that shows men who are married do better after surgery than those who are not.

Does marriage have life saving benefits? Yes, it seems so.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/life-saving-benefit-married/

Contact Becker Counseling for marriage counseling and family therapy.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Thinking of Eloping? Here are some Pointers if you are planning an elopement.



If you are thinking of eloping, it may be a beautiful memory for the two of you.  But here are some pointers if you want to elope.

It's your wedding, and your marriage, but realize what affects this may have repercussions with your other loved ones.

Check out these pointers from the Huffington Post:

Thursday, May 24, 2018

3 Simple Tips for Better Communication



Being in couples counseling for many years, I find that these modest changes to our communication habits, can make things go much smoother in a relationship - any relationship.

Take a look at these 3 simple tips for better communication.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/3-tips-better-communication/

Friday, May 18, 2018

Panic attack or anxiety attack? Are they really different?



How do you know if you are having a panic attack or an anxiety attack? Are they really different? Do you need to treat them differently? What affects do they have on me? Can they be cured?

Check out this article in MedicalNewsToday about how panic attacks and anxiety attacks are different.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/panic-attack-anxiety-attack-know-difference/

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Are you caught in a bad romance?



Can you see the signs of a bad romance?

Would you know how to get out?

Check out this article in the HuffPost for some tips if you are in a bad romance.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/caught-bad-romance-tips-recognizing-bad-romance-get/

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Is your marriage at risk for infidelity or cheating?



Why do spouses cheat? No one is sure but the timing seems to be consistent and the reasons vary.

Check out this article in Men's Health that talks about whether there are signs that your marriage may be in trouble and at risk for infidelity.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/is-your-marriage-at-risk-of-infidelity/

Monday, April 30, 2018

What Every Second Wife Needs to Hear




What do you tell your second wife? Are you always talking about your ex? Does your blended family overtake every conversation and activity? Does your second wife feel "second"? 

Check out this article from the HuffPost about what your second wife needs to hear. 

https://www.beckercounseling.com/every-second-wife-needs-hear/

Friday, April 27, 2018

Men, Depression and Suicide



As another celebrity passes away, this article in Metro News looks at how we look at men, depression and suicide.  Maybe its time to take a closer look.

https://www.beckercounseling.com/metro-news-article-discusses-suicide-men/